Spring!

March is the beautiful month of Spring! We have had a wonderful winter so far and now we are sliding into spring. March is a beautiful month! I have started noticing the tiny bit of green on the tall, skinny-limbed trees (I am not sure of the name). They are the first trees to turn start green every year. Isn't it great? I couldn't believe it when I saw the first bit of a greenish hue on them last week. Now that the snow has melted, we can see bits of green grass starting to make its way through the dormant grass. Flowers will start breaking through the dirt at any moment! Tulips, crocus, daffodils. Wow! I love looking at the little buds on the trees and the tiny, tiny leaves, so perfectly formed, starting to grow.

I know I am jumping ahead as today is only 35 degrees, but tomorrow is March, the beautiful month of Spring! Yippee!!

Summarize

My blogs are always SO LONG! I am just too long-winded. I love to talk, and talk, and talk!

I got a new calling today. I am on the enrichment committee for Relief Society. I am very excited! I am always so busy going to other wards interpreting for Deaf people so I really don't like to have a Sunday calling. This is perfect! I can do things during the week and not feel the stress of having to prepare a lesson every Sunday. This feels like a really good fit! Yeah, Bishop Arnold and his counselors!

PARTY!

Hey, guess what? Today is my 32nd anniversary for being married to Bob. I can't believe it! How does the time go so quickly? It has been an amazing ride so far. We have learned a lot and have grown a lot. We have enjoyed each other and enjoyed our growing family. We still laugh at each other's humor. Bob still thinks I am funny! He is hilarious to me, too!

I was thinking the other day about so many things that we have been through and I can't believe the list I came up with. Here are some of them starting in 1997:

1997-1998: my mom suffered and died of inflammatory breast cancer, which is a cancer that grows on the outside of the body. (with all that entails)
1999: my father's intestines burst, he almost died. colostomy bag. 2nd surgery to reattach his colon. 3rd surgery for aortic aneurysm. 7 years of managing his affairs, caregivers, etc.
Bob's dad has major stroke. 6 1/2 years of managing his affairs, his caregivers, his life.
2000: happy beginning of year. dianna marries Todd. i start working more to pay for wedding. bob's dad falls down and breaks hip.
2001: happy beginning of year. Christopher is born (yeah!). has surgery at 5 months old. twin towers are struck and we go to war.
2002: bob loses job. the family moves to Utah. James is born (yeah!).
2003: our trampoline is stolen. bob's brother, Gary, dies at a young age, unexpectedly, while bob's elderly father is in the hospital with severe pneumonia.
2004: my car and wallet are stolen. criminal gets a wig to look like me and writes bad checks and takes out money from my account. my stepfather suffers and dies of cancer (with all that entails). i am executor to his trust, with all THAT entails.
2005: bob's father dies of pneumonia. we are executors over his will, with all THAT entails.
2006: my father dies of old age. i take care of everything, like executor, as i am an only child. we move to a new house (super blessing!!). dylan is born. (yeah!)
2007: i can't think of anything really strenuous. finally just adjusting to not having tragedy every single minute. hormonal issues at its peak, though, which causes terrible problems!
2008: jake is born (yeah!). bob's car window is broken into and his planner stolen.

It has been a few pretty hard and painful years. On top of all this, I have been perimenopausal, with all THAT entails! Simple sentences do not at all explain what we have been through during these times. Thank goodness we have had each other as super supports.

I am grateful that when I was 15 years old I prayed to God, (I wasn't a member but I heard the missionaries talking about eternal marriage), that I could be married to Bob in heaven. Heavenly Father answered my prayers! We have been through thick and thin and everything else! After 32 years I can easily say Bob is the love of my life!

Love and Logic

I have many cassette tapes, books and CDs about Love and Logic. I would love to be as cool as a cucumber and follow the Love and Logic philosophy when it comes to my family. It is very hard for me because my parenting style is lecture (with a very angry face), lecture some more, yell, and freak out. I developed these skills quite naturally, being raised in a Sicilian home. I don't love these skills. I got very good at them when Dianna was growing up. She told me that I have a VERY SCARY face when I am mad. (I think my facial expressions are one good reason I am a good sign language interpreter, but they don't do much for parenting!)

So, back to Love and Logic. I have been improving my pareting skills, somewhat, and sometimes, through Love and Logic. I still LOVE to lecture, but sometimes my lectures are cut short by my realization that my lectures DO NO GOOD WHATSOEVER!!!!

I have wonderful girls. Don't get me wrong. Dianna, (I don't have to discipline her. She is grown up now), Heidi and Kelli are incredibly wonderful girls. If President Benson hadn't given the talk on "Beware of Pride", I would say I was proud of these wonderful girls. But I can't say that, so I will say I am very pleased with these wonderful girls.

Dianna is an incredible person! I will post a blog one of these days about how incredible she is, but today is Love and Logic, so back to today's blog.

I am just saying that, even with incredible girls here at home, I still LOVE to lecture angrily!! Any chance I can get! BUT, I am so happy that I have come to the realization that my lectures are worthless.

So last night I was so upset for a moment and I began my lecture, with the angry face and all. It only lasted about 30 seconds and I went to the window shades to close them as it was night time. The whole time I was closing the window shades I was thinking of all the lecture that I COULD be giving. My brain was going a mile a minute! Thank goodness I kept my mouth shut. I feel badly enough about the 30 seconds yucky lecture that I managed to get out before my logic took over!.

BUT today I did controlled myself much better! As the winter started last year and walking to school was going to be too difficult, I told my daughter to get a carpool together so she wouldn't have to walk and be late to school. She wouldn't do it. I told her the days we could drive. She wouldn't do it. I gave her suggestions on who might be interested in carpooling. She wouldn't do it. So today she was going to be late, again, and she said she will have to be in Set Time at school, missing part of her lunch, because of her tardies.

Here is the good part: I said, "How sad." My brain said, "I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD SET UP A CARPOOL!!! I TOLD YOU WHICH DAYS WE COULD DRIVE. I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN'T BE LATE TO SCHOOL! I GAVE YOU SUGGESTIONS ON WHO TO CALL!!! I TOLD YOU SO!!!"

Then she said that she will have to go to attendance school to clear her tardies. My brain repeated the lecture above but I said, "Oh, bummer. I guess you can do homework while you are there." (I really didn't need to add the 'homework' part, but I did because my mouth likes to run.)

Anyway, she couldn't get mad at me. That is what Love and Logic claims. If I had started into a lecture, all of her anger at herself for being late would have turned onto me. So she just had to sit and be mad at herself.

My problem is I want to control everything and everyone and it isn't good for me or for anyone else. I am making baby steps at letting others make their own choices. This is a very painful process for me!

The Gospel

I was thinking, yesterday, about my gospel journey.

I was born to a father who was an agnostic. "When we die, that is it. We cease to exist. There is no proof that there is a God," and other teaching that I won't go into.

My mom was a less-active Catholic. I was raised to school age with nothing. No prayers. No scriptures. No teachings of God or Jesus. Nothing religious whatsoever.

At the age of almost 5 years old, my father wanted me to have a "private school" education. No public school for me. I then spent the next 9 years in a psycho school. If I told you all the horrendous experiences that happened to children in that horrible school, you would cry. I cry when I remember them.

BUT, the good thing is, it was a Christian School. They taught Jesus. They taught the scriptures, the Bible. They taught prayer. I learned to love scriptures. It is a bit amazing that I loved the scriptures because whenever I was 'bad' at school I would get sent to the principal and she would say, "What did you do today?" Then, for my punishment, I would have to memorize scriptures and then go back to class.

In 7th grade, because of some neighbors that I liked, I joined the Catholic church. Oh, I loved reading the little books they gave me and I loved memorizing prayers, (which I can still recite today) and I wanted to be a Nun because they had beautiful habits (clothes) and rosaries and big huge pockets!

My first day to church after I had my first communion, my mom dropped me off at church with some friends that had come to town for my special day. She told us to walk home after church. It was about 2 miles home. During church I started feeling really weak. It was a special Sunday and they had a priest all decked out in fancy clothes with a big hat. He was burning incense and walking up and down the aisles. I felt sicker and sicker and very weak. We had to walk home and it ended up I had pneumonia. Needless to say, I never went back to church.

In 9th grade I went to a public high school. Again, no prayers, scriptures or any such thing. I began looking for "the true church" and couldn't find anything that matched the Bible and its teachings.

A big long story goes here but I am tired of writing right now so I will just say that about 6 or 7 years later Heavenly Father let me find The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At first I didn't believe the missionaries at all. But after a couple lessons they gave me a pamphlet, The Plan of Salvation, and I realized that this church follows the Bible more than any other church I had checked into!

I joined the church 32 years ago and my life has been blessed sooooo much! Even though it would have been nice to have the gospel from the beginning, I am so happy that, through God's love, I found the gospel and can feast everyday on the gospel meat...and treats!

February

Can you believe it is already February? I remember when it was 1999 and so many people were so concerned about Y2K. I remember when President Faust had his pointer finger raised, during general conference, and said, "Mark my words. 2000 will come and go and nothing will happen (or change or we won't even notice)." (Not an exact quote, but something like that.) I wasn't that worried before but many people were and when he spoke those prophetic words, I completely relaxed.

Time really marches on and things change and happen. It seems time is marching very, very quickly now. I know that young people feel the same way. It is not just that I am getting older. I think there is so much to get done that time is going at a more rapid pace. Maybe the Savior is coming in a few short years and so we are practically spinning out of control in preparation for Him. But the spinning will make us dizzy and not able to focus on what is important, like our preparing to greet Him. We want to be like Him when He comes. I think it is going to take me A LOT LONGER than a few short years. But, I WON'T GIVE UP!

(Sonya. Invite me to your blog.)